I've kept this topic out of my blogs because I didn't want to draw attention to it which might present opportunity for negativity. However, I hope that the crisis point has now passed, and being able to report it just that way makes it okay to speak about it now.

I know that sounds highly cryptic, but you'd have to know how I was raised and what I think I've learned about energy conversion to maybe understand how I've been dealing with this matter.

What is 'this matter'? My father's surgery. I choose not to detail more about it here except to say it was serious and got more so. All surgery is potentially life-treatening, of course, but the percentages are generally in favor of survival and recovery, else it isn't done. My father's surgery went mostly as expected but he had terrible pain and trouble in the three days following. Overnight last night, the doctors suspected more than ordinary recovery difficulties and took Dad back into surgery early this morning to find the problem and repair it.

Now I will do what I often do with a crisis: intellectualize and analyze. It's one of my methods of coping.

Why didn't I mention Dad's surgery before? I've only told a few people and not really dwelt on it. The 'unknown' factor of such an impending event tends to foster fear and worry. Unless we control our responses, dwelling on an upcoming challenge tends to draw negative thoughts. It is very hard for most people to visualize good outcomes, at least on the outset. If they can do it at all, they really have to work at it. The usual reaction to potential hazard is to think immediately of the worst possible scenario.

I understand that we are more powerful than we know and that when we visualize something very strongly, with a lot of emotion behind it, we can manifest it. We can bring our fears into being, if we're not careful. Fear and worry are natural reactions. We must acknowledge them, but to dwell in them is to lend energy to the feared outcome -- to fuel the fire -- and we may very well get precisely what we're afraid of.

In a really strange twist of ego, we'd almost rather be right about our fears, than to have a situation turn out better, and be wrong. We are embarrassed when we're wrong or when we've done something silly, like succumbing to fear over what turns out to be nothing.

I do my best not to fall into this ego trap. I do it with a lot of positive assumptions. Then if my ego gets involved in trying to prove me right, it's energy applied to a positive outcome and not a negative one. I am more likely to get what I want, and not what I fear.

I try to assume a thing will turn out okay, unless it proves otherwise, IF it proves otherwise. Most of my experience has shown that this method achieves more positive results. Of course, 'bad' things happen, but I generally have more energy to deal with them if I have not wasted it on fear and worry beforehand. I also believe very very strongly that things are never as bad as they could have been, so I have supported a more positive outcome, if not a completely positive outcome.

I am not afraid to be wrong about being positive. In a way, if I always look for the bright side, I can never be wrong, because there is always a silver lining, always. As my father says, sometimes you have to look really hard for it, but it's there. Sure it's a lot about attitude, about perception, but this is how the energy works too.

It is a choice. I can choose to buy into the drama of a life situation. I can choose to soak myself in the horror, in the hardship. I can take on the burden of terrible events and let them weigh me down until they nearly crush me...

Or...

I can choose to assume things happen for a reason and that ultimately the reason is positive, thus the effective outcome is positive, no matter what happens. I can push away the thoughts about the worst-case-scenario, recognizing those thoughts as merely fear responses and not lending them power over me or the situation. I can refuse to wear my fears or carry them around, proliferating them with woe-is-me talk or retelling the possible horror over and over.

I can choose to stand upright and face a thing with a challenge --- not a challenge to fate, but a challenge to me -- ala, I will find a silver lining, no matter how small it may be or how hard I have to search. I WILL find it.

Not surprisingly, the silver linings are always there. We see what we're looking for. We get what we're asking for. Sometimes I need help to make these conversions and that's alright. We all need each other. But I will not ask for others to feel sorry for me, or with me. That is a waste of my energy and theirs. However, I sure as hell can ask them to look for silver linings with me. I can ask them to help distract me so I won't dwell on the fear or worry. I can ask them to help me face a challenge with good thoughts and positive energy, and I sure hope I do the same when they come to me with their own challenges.

I have learned this from my parents and their parents and I don't know how many generations before them. I have verified it through my own life experience and from watching the way others deal with their challenges.

Early in life, we take on our methods of coping from those around us. Later, if we're aware, we can pick and choose our own set of methods. I am so very glad I had such a positive menu to choose from. I hope I demonstrate these options to others who may not have been as fortunate.

My parents continue to demonstrate their positive energy. Despite the trial of the last few days, I know I will ultimately hear my father tell how it all worked for the best. My mother will express how concerned she was for him at the time, but she will echo his sentiment. They will not belabor the hardships. They'll gloss over the potential tragedy, if they mention it at all. They will say it was not as bad as it could have been. They will both express their gratitude that he came through it.

I support their methods. In fact, I do my best to live by them. I focus on positive outcomes. I express my gratitude for anything beyond the worst case, and in such a way, I will likely never experience the worst case, because even in the most dire circumstance, there is always a silver lining. I will look until I find it and in doing so, I convert the negative energy of a situation into light.

My father is working his way back from a crisis. My mother is working beside him. My siblings are gathered around him to help too. I am not close by physically, but my heart is certainly there. I have called in friends to focus with me. And I have asked the powers that be to take care of my father and once again show us all the true power of a positive attitude.