Have I ever asked for adventure? I don't think I have. Even when I dabble in fiction, it tends to be unknotting rather than knotting. In fact, it's hard for me to come up with conflicts as one is supposed to do to build a story. I abhor conflict in real life and I just haven't the will or mindset to stir the plot too much. It is the resolution of conflicts which I find challenging, and even enjoyable.

But have I ever asked for my life to get knotted and tangled so I'd have something to unravel? I hope not. I didn't mean to.

I'm a Gemini with Libra Rising. My mercurial nature helps me see both sides or all sides of most issues, and my Libra tendencies can usually find some way to rebalance a tilt in the scales. But I don't recall ever tipping the scales on purpose. It's just not my way. I much prefer the even keel. That is not boredom to me, it's not a rut, it's a nice balance from which to operate. I can handle the dips and tips, if they don't go on for too long. But after a while, if I cannot right the scales and find my equilibrium again, then I become quite distraught with that tension.

This long distance household move, this buying and selling of houses, is a chaotic imbalance. The scales of my life are on a ship in stormy seas, and rocking, sometimes wildly. The ups and downs are making me seasick. I have in fact heaved over the rail a few times. Even the three-year journey to this point has been long and fraught with trials.

I stand on the deck watching the storm and sometimes wailing at it. I scan the tempestuous horizon for sign of shore or lighthouse. I need to find a port. I need to weigh anchor. I am completely at home with smooth sailing or the gentle rocking motion in the marina, but these tidal waves are tormenting.

The winking eye of a lighthouse tells me that a Closing may occur on Friday. I have been steering in that direction, but until I get to that shore, I know there are rocks upon which my entire ship may be dashed. I put my hope in eventual daylight and the calming of the seas and skies. I imagine afternoons in the bay, sipping in the sunshine. I dream of nights, lounging on deck, watching moonlight on gentle water.

How's that for milking a metaphor? ;)

I am now reminded that I have a story on the board about a lonely captain and an unfortunate woman. Maybe I can get back to them someday, when my own ship is once again safely in harbor.