Tuesday, November 29, 2005

A college class was told to write a short story in as few words as possible. The instructions were: The short story must contain the following three things...
1) Religion
2) Sexuality
3) Mystery
This is the only A+ short story in the entire class:
"Good God, I'm pregnant; I wonder who did it."

I'm tired. But mending. I think. Ultimately.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

A post just for Em. Yes, I needed mouth-to-mouth, but fortunately, Spouse was handy *weg* Welcome back to blogworld. 'Bout freakin time, woman. I had stopped checking. Heard it from your mircspouse ;)

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad! Next year is their 50th!

I am feeling much MUCH better. Talked to Mom about why I wasn't coming home for T-day. I wasn't looking forward to that phone call, afraid of worrying her and all, but she took it well. After Dad's trouble a while back, other things don't seem so bad.

I really wanted to see Grandma too. Had planned to spend a night at her house. I will see her at Christmas. She's done a 'little cooking'... meatloaf, noodles, pies, cakes, etc. Still a damned amazing woman. 94 years young.

Now that my body is returning to normal, I think I might make it to 49. hehe

Happy Thanksgiving to all my beloved friends, family... aw heck... the world ;)

Monday, November 21, 2005

Unpleasant Week. Thursday night, I was in the E/R. I've been having some difficulties for months, trying to track down the problem(s) and self-medicate and all that... to no avail. I finally surrendered. Before panic sets in, it's not really serious, just ugly to live through. TMI: I thought I had chronic diarrhea with unknown cause. In truth, I was full of shit and got xrays to prove it. Literally, my entire colon was full, one end to the other. So now I am finally, slowly, and to be honest, painfully, moving 5-6 ft of golf balls... well, I told you, TMI. I will not be a happy camper for some time, on top of not being a happy camper for a long time already, and so on.

Incidental to this, but in my opinion, related to it, my BP was also very ugly. This has been a very stressful thing for months and will be stressful until it's cleared up. SO.... I am also on BP med, low grade, at least for now. Beats stroking out.

What else? Oh, yes. My spouse, whom I love dearly... more than ever... as he has been an immense comfort and help during my trials.... Well... he came home this evening and gently told me he is once again unemployed. (Yes, we are glad I got on the BP meds, I may need them more than the doc knew when prescribed.)

At the moment, I am either too focused on the more immediate personal physical hardship, or I'm in denial, or I just know that we've been here before and we made it and... what happens will happen. Spouse is in an industry which is famous for these kinds of changes. This had nothing to do with his performance. It's just the nature of the beast which is subject to the whims of the owners who try to wrangle it.

I was supposed to go Home to Lex for Thanksgiving. I won't now. I can't do what I need to do anywhere but here in my own home. That's an added bit that does not really help, but can't be helped. Good news is, I should be in fine shape by Christmas and if spouse is still free, we can stay a while.

Anyway, that catches you up with my uncomfortable world at the moment. All good thoughts appreciated.

I hope t'hell your life is going better than mine at the moment. Blessings.

Monday, November 14, 2005

SPECIAL BULLETIN! ...dit..ditdit...ditditdit..dit... The Jif dad who folds his peanut butter sandwich is the Propane dude!    just one of many little tidbits from the "I Need A Life" files....

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Boundaries. There is great freedom in recognizing your boundaries. Sounds contradictory, doesn't it? We think of boundaries as fences or walls to confine us, or lines we're supposed to color within. We have a right to breach these when we feel urged to. These sorts of boundaries are usually set by the group or community we're in. We can choose to move them or break them. We have that power because we are individuals and each is free to make their own choices, whether those choices are echoed or disdained by others.

However, there are legitimate personal boundaries which we often do not honor and this can be a major cause of stress, guilt and remorse. Many times we can't determine where these boundaries are or we don't stop to consider where a boundary lies and why we have placed it there.

Your personal boundaries are not restrictions, merely recognition of where your responsibility and effectiveness begin and end. Some of us tend to feel that we should do everything for everyone. We are definitely in need of boundaries. We know, from logic and experience, that we cannot really do everything for everyone. When we try, we get exhausted, frustrated, disappointed in ourselves or others. It isn't healthy, yet we continue to try to do it. We often extend ourselves far beyond any reasonable, practical boundaries.

Let's quit it.

To help determine where your current boundaries are, pay attention to what irks you, what makes you feel like a servant, or tugs at your heart in a hurtful way. Notice instances when you feel that your effort is being wasted or taken for granted. These are cues. Listen to your own feelings and determine why you're working so hard at these things and getting nowhere or not getting the results you expect.

Granted, there are times when our endeavors are simply not easy. How many times must a mother tell her child, "Hang up your coat. Hang up your coat. Hang up your coat..." until the message sticks? That's something you have to work out. Where is your limit on these efforts? Are you taking care to protect yourself from sheer exhaustion by evaluating what you are doing, why, and even how? If you feel you are treading the same ground over and over again, that nothing changes despite your efforts, you may need to change your angle of attack. (Is the coat rack in a convenient place? Do you often pick up the coat yourself just to keep from having to say it one more time? What does this tell the child?...etc)

Recognize that many people are not sensitive to subtle boundary cues. They will push until you tell them they've crossed the line. If you do not establish that line, they reasonably assume that you to not have one. Do you see? Don't let the others in your life decide how far is too far. They may not be aware that you feel pushed to a breaking point. YOU must tell them, and preferrably long before the break actually occurs. Furthermore, words are sometimes not enough. You must demonstrate with your actions. If you 'give in', aren't you resetting your boundary? You may not think so, but others will perhaps read it that way. Reluctance may or may not indicate a boundary is nearby, but refusal is the actual line which others usually read.

Be aware of the smaller crunches and stings. Bring them up for discussion before you're at wit's end. This way you can work out reasonable compromises or at least alert the other(s) that you DO have boundaries and you would like to establish them so you can truly enjoy their company and your own. This applies to friends, workmates, spouses, children, relatives... every single person in your life. Some of us can be very sensitive to the boundaries of others and that's terrific, but unless you establish your own, you become nothing more than a bundle of what everyone else wants, needs, and expects. You lose YOU, because you have let your boundaries be overrun by all others.

Scientifically, do you know what happens when an object is squeezed down so tightly that it becomes a single point? It explodes. Does this sound familiar? You feel pressured and burdened until you have lost almost all of yourself and then finally burst outward, emotionally and/or violently, in response. Sure, people may give you a wide berth for a while, but gradually they seem to start in on you again? This means they cannot read your boundaries. What you've shown them is that you apparently have none until they hit that trip wire which causes the explosion. Only then have you let them see your limit.

Find your boundaries or set them for yourself. Share them while you are calm and the 'offense' is rather small. Don't let offenses stockpile and crush you until you explode all over the people you love, or demolish yourself.

PS - This is a slightly modified version of an article I wrote for the Venusian Voice area of my website Quicksilver but boundaries really apply to everyone. We have a lot to learn.

PPS - Don't bitch about the length of this blog. I gave ya'll a couple of quickies. I was due! hehe

Friday, November 11, 2005

Ya know, Pat Robertson's god must have some pretty serious self-esteem problems. *nodnod*

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Yes, E-Oh, we're both ENFP. We have many similarities. It's a wonder we're not related. ;) I guess we are, just not in the same family tree, strictly speaking.

BTW, I tried to leave a comment on your Silence post, but I had trouble with it. I just wanted to say that yes, Silence is Golden. It's a rare commodity these days, precious and useful for finding one's sanity in the midst of chaos ;) In some circles we call it meditation. Highly recommended to just sit and clear the mind.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

The Temperaments, yes. Fortunately, Shroomy, I've already taken that quiz a few times! :P I'm ENFP (Extrovert, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving) ... which translates as Idealist(NF), Champion(ENFP).

Excerpt from Keirsey.com
IDEALISTS can become highly skilled in diplomatic integration. Their most practiced and developed intelligent operations are usually teaching and counseling, or conferring and tutoring. They have an instinct for interpersonal integration, learn ethics with ever increasing zeal, sometimes become diplomatic leaders, and often speak interpretively and metaphorically of the abstract world of their imagination.

They are proud of themselves in the degree they are empathic in action, respect themselves in the degree they are benevolent, and feel confident of themselves in the degree they are authentic. Idealist types search for their unique identity, hunger for deep and meaningful relationships, wish for a little romance each day, trust their intuitive feelings implicitly, aspire for profundity. Idealists do not abound, being as few as 8% and nor more than 10% of the population.

For CHAMPIONS, nothing occurs which does not have some deep ethical significance, and this, coupled with their uncanny sense of the motivations of others, gives them a talent for seeing life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil. This type is found in only about 3% of the general population, but they have great influence because of their extraordinary impact on others.

Champions are inclined to go everywhere and look into everything that has to do with the advance of good and the retreat of evil in the world. They are eager to relate the stories they've uncovered, hoping to disclose the "truth" of people and issues, and to advocate causes. Champions strive toward a kind of spontaneous personal authenticity, and this intention always to "be themselves" is usually communicated nonverbally to others, who find it quite attractive.... etc and so on...

Monday, November 07, 2005

I love my parents, my grandparents, all the people who contributed to who I am today. For the most part, I'm quite pleased with the legacy passed on to me. However, there are a few things I would have chosen not to inherit. A particular one came to mind this evening. I have apparently inherited my grandfather's 'gift' for finding the odd pit in the cherry pie filling, the one stem in a batch of greenbeans, the wee wad of silk that escaped into a can of corn, the tough bit of rind clinging to peeled tomatoes... I'm not sure what to make of it. I suppose if this is the bulk of back luck in my life, I am truly blessed, and I'll just chew carefully and keep spitting discreetly.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

I'd say the Fall colors here are at their peak right
about now. And what a gorgeous palette it is too.

One of the many beautiful views from my deck.