I don't know if it's getting worse or just feels that way as I approach possible help. Maybe it's the cumulative effect? I can put up with just about anything for a short period of time, especially if there's a scheduled end to it, a target date after which I shall be released. But this thing has been with me for so long I am definitely worn down. I was already frustrated when I finally hit critical mass and went to the E/R on Nov 17th. Now, at the end of July, I can feel the whole weight of eight months of struggling.

Once again, I'm supposed to have insurance available in August. I've already made a doctor appointment for Aug 17th. Hoping I'll have cards or at least relative membership numbers and such by then. Hoping I really can get service here with the insurance, even though spouse and employer, ie source of insurance, are in NM.

Hoping something can be found and fixed quickly (and with minimal torture).

In the meantime, I'm pretty miserable, as I have been for long months, but slowly progressing into 'moreso'. I'm tired. I'm trying all my tricks for relief and they are less and less effective. One can only spend so may hours in the bathtub, on a heating pad, taking OTC pain relievers, and of late, drinking. Tired, very tired. Counting the days.