Saturday, October 29, 2005

New Hobby - Spam Watching? Since it seems impossible to prevent the waves of spam. Maybe I'll just turn it into a hobby. It's an energy-conversion thing. I can allow it to annoy me or make a game of it. I haven't determined the details of the game yet, but maybe there's a way to use the latest offerings from the Internidiots to have some fun? I dunno. I'll let it simmer on the back burner for a bit.

Unscientific list of common Spam sightings: remote control cars; eyeball webcams; drug plugs - viagra, cialis, xanax, valium; penis enlargement; breast enhancement; lonely hearts club date-by-jpg or porn site; petroleum stocks; and the latest on my Spam Watch list... a watch. Yes, a great deal on a Rolex, which I'm sure is the genuine article. Oh yeah. *nodnod* Absolutely.

I've noticed changing trends in spam formats. Spammers began with English and the standard alphabet, then of course they learned to spell with characters so a scan for 'viagra' is useless when the word is decorated into something only human-readable, like '\/i@gr&' or such. They've actually tried prose but it reads as if composed by the proverbial Shakespearean monkeys.

Lately they're avoiding text scans by posting jpg ads. These are often accompanied by prose-like text dumps. Not at all sure about the purpose for including that drivel, but sometimes it can be an interesting read. Example follows. Okay so I tweaked it and added my own punctuation, since the prose generators seem to be missing those characters. I guess they used them all up reconfiguring drug names?

Hmmm... Maybe this could be the game, turning the randomly generated garble into something... nearly... almost... decipherable?

From Bart's journal, perhaps, whomever Bart is...
     I dreamed of our ancient friendship until the early morning. How impossible I found it when I thought of her afterwards, to separate her from this look or that and walking about arm-in-arm the livelong day. Annie, thus addressed, made reply, "You are very well inward a firm fellow, a fine firm fellow, with a will of your own three times a week and faithful." It was only a dream, but upon waking I vowed to see her.
     I went to Conspirator first that I might take leave, given all I had for lawful permission to get down and thrash him and let all take care of the most wonderful woman in the world. Thus restored the sunshine to his face.
     "Everyone who knows you consults with you and is guided by you, Bart," the Conspirator said.
     "Come, it's not fair to abuse my confidence," I answered, reddening at the recollection.
     "Oh, that was as a child or a schoolboy," said he, laughing in his turn. "Besides, there's the Memorial."
     "Oh, certainly," said I in a hurry, "I intend, and more worthy altogether than anyone I have ever seen here, to rise up before I give my consent."
     The Memorial notion was then dismissed and other topics occupied us. He remained, so seldom raising his eyes unless to clap me on the shoulder again. "You are a very daisy that had long grown naturally out of our familiar relations begun as mere children."
     "But Harlan, you are going through the coachman Pasquale," I said condescendingly. I knew him and so did Mrs. Strong. They sang together and played duets together and we had quite given all I had for lawful permission to get down and thrash him and let all take care for anything.
     "True," he gave me only one last nod and a whisper, "If only I could have been inspired with a knowledge of the science of navigation."


It reads somewhat victorian and does rather pique one's curiosity, doesn' it? Wonder what those passages might do to speed readers? *weg* I don't know about you, but I think there's something hinky going on between Bart and Harlan the Conspirator, despite Bart's feelings for Annie. Just a wee bit of jealousy there concerning Pasquale, don't you think? But then maybe Harlan only uses him for his navigational skills?

(I know, I know... too much time on my hands. hehe But hey, you're taking time to read me, so.... :P )

PS - HA! There's a reason it sounds victorian. At least one passage is from Charles Dickens' David Copperfield --- "When we came at last within a stage of London and passed the veritable Salem House where Mr. Creakle had laid about him with a heavy hand, I would have given all I had for lawful permission to get down and thrash him and let all the boys out like so many caged sparrows."

1 comment:

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