Yes yes, Too much time on my hands *ticktick*ticktick*ticktick* Too much time on my--- You know, concerning spam ala prose, I am so enamoured with the idea, at least temporarily, that I have created a new blog, The Rolex Diaries ( http://unsolicitedjournal.blogspot.com/ ). I started it with Sage Bart's entry, but more to follow.
Update: *giggle* These are fun. It's like a modern version of beatniks spouting half-assed poetry in dark smoke-filled coffee houses. They called it avant-garde. Is that french for 'crap'?

New Hobby - Spam Watching? Since it seems impossible to prevent the waves of spam. Maybe I'll just turn it into a hobby. It's an energy-conversion thing. I can allow it to annoy me or make a game of it. I haven't determined the details of the game yet, but maybe there's a way to use the latest offerings from the Internidiots to have some fun? I dunno. I'll let it simmer on the back burner for a bit.

Unscientific list of common Spam sightings: remote control cars; eyeball webcams; drug plugs - viagra, cialis, xanax, valium; penis enlargement; breast enhancement; lonely hearts club date-by-jpg or porn site; petroleum stocks; and the latest on my Spam Watch list... a watch. Yes, a great deal on a Rolex, which I'm sure is the genuine article. Oh yeah. *nodnod* Absolutely.

I've noticed changing trends in spam formats. Spammers began with English and the standard alphabet, then of course they learned to spell with characters so a scan for 'viagra' is useless when the word is decorated into something only human-readable, like '\/i@gr&' or such. They've actually tried prose but it reads as if composed by the proverbial Shakespearean monkeys.

Lately they're avoiding text scans by posting jpg ads. These are often accompanied by prose-like text dumps. Not at all sure about the purpose for including that drivel, but sometimes it can be an interesting read. Example follows. Okay so I tweaked it and added my own punctuation, since the prose generators seem to be missing those characters. I guess they used them all up reconfiguring drug names?

Hmmm... Maybe this could be the game, turning the randomly generated garble into something... nearly... almost... decipherable?

From Bart's journal, perhaps, whomever Bart is...
     I dreamed of our ancient friendship until the early morning. How impossible I found it when I thought of her afterwards, to separate her from this look or that and walking about arm-in-arm the livelong day. Annie, thus addressed, made reply, "You are very well inward a firm fellow, a fine firm fellow, with a will of your own three times a week and faithful." It was only a dream, but upon waking I vowed to see her.
     I went to Conspirator first that I might take leave, given all I had for lawful permission to get down and thrash him and let all take care of the most wonderful woman in the world. Thus restored the sunshine to his face.
     "Everyone who knows you consults with you and is guided by you, Bart," the Conspirator said.
     "Come, it's not fair to abuse my confidence," I answered, reddening at the recollection.
     "Oh, that was as a child or a schoolboy," said he, laughing in his turn. "Besides, there's the Memorial."
     "Oh, certainly," said I in a hurry, "I intend, and more worthy altogether than anyone I have ever seen here, to rise up before I give my consent."
     The Memorial notion was then dismissed and other topics occupied us. He remained, so seldom raising his eyes unless to clap me on the shoulder again. "You are a very daisy that had long grown naturally out of our familiar relations begun as mere children."
     "But Harlan, you are going through the coachman Pasquale," I said condescendingly. I knew him and so did Mrs. Strong. They sang together and played duets together and we had quite given all I had for lawful permission to get down and thrash him and let all take care for anything.
     "True," he gave me only one last nod and a whisper, "If only I could have been inspired with a knowledge of the science of navigation."

It reads somewhat victorian and does rather pique one's curiosity, doesn' it? Wonder what those passages might do to speed readers? *weg* I don't know about you, but I think there's something hinky going on between Bart and Harlan the Conspirator, despite Bart's feelings for Annie. Just a wee bit of jealousy there concerning Pasquale, don't you think? But then maybe Harlan only uses him for his navigational skills?

(I know, I know... too much time on my hands. hehe But hey, you're taking time to read me, so.... :P )

PS - HA! There's a reason it sounds victorian. At least one passage is from Charles Dickens' David Copperfield --- "When we came at last within a stage of London and passed the veritable Salem House where Mr. Creakle had laid about him with a heavy hand, I would have given all I had for lawful permission to get down and thrash him and let all the boys out like so many caged sparrows."

This crap works! I know you've seen the annoying OxyClean commercials. They drone on and on throughout the broadcast schedule. I've done my best to ignore them, but after trying every other household cleaner on spouse's shower... well... I ordered some Miracle Foam. What the heck? I've already scrubbed and foamed and fumed. Why not try another 'miracle'? Honestly, it's not that spouse is an unusually dirty person, but for some reason his shower stall always looks like he's been working on cars instead of just selling them. Part of the problem is the texture of the shower floor. It's a very safe non-skid surface, but the same tiny nooks and crannies that keep you on your feet also love to trap gunk. Yuck.

So anyway, my 'miracle' arrived today and I tried it. WOW! Yes, I had to scrub a little but most of it was just waiting for the soggy foamy stuff to do its work. And AND it smells good, like oranges... and AND I stripped naked and stood in the stuff while using their scrubber sponge -without gloves- to clean the whole shower stall, including the frosted glass and the stainless steel door frame and water controls. So now it's all clean and bright and sparkly.

Again, I say, this crap works! Plus I could breathe while using it and in fact the whole house smells like fresh oranges right now.

I never thought I'd get this excited about cleaning. Now I know I'm hormonal. geez

Moods include swings, dontcha know. I'm in one. I'll be glad when I'm out again. It's grating, even on my own nerves. bleh

Media Gripe #143: Irks me when news people use emphasis to try to shape opinion instead of just reporting it. For example, just caught a report of a CNN poll which asked if Global Warming is a cause for the increase in the number of hurricanes and their intensity this season. Here's an attempt to relay the emphasis the reporter applied while reading the poll results:

MORE THAN ONE THIRD believe Global Warming is a MAJOR CAUSE. Just under 30% believe it is a Partial Cause. One in three don't think it's a cause at all.

The initial impression from the reading made it sound like MOST people were convinced Global Warming is the culprit! Oh MY! But the numbers were almost evenly split: 36% Major, 26% Partial, 30% Not a Cause. Certainly 6% is not enough difference to shout one and let the other trail off into oblivion. Not sure what happened to the other 8%. Maybe they didn't want to participate, knowing that polls come under the heading of Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics.

Cynical Remark #143: How long before some afflicted member of our free-speaking society claims that Florida was spared the hurricane horrors of New Orleans because mostly white people live there? or because it isn't full of gambling whoring sinners? or because only wealthy retired snowbirds live there? or because the Bush Brothers are in cahoots?

Notice I didn't say 'free-thinking' society.

Elsewhere on the Darwin scale, there's footage of a speedo-clad nit-brain out dancing in the surf in the dark of night while Wilma barreled through.

Remind me again how long we have been evolving from pond scum?

The Incredible Eyelid Show. I have this thing. I wonder if anyone else has it. Maybe someone will stumble onto this note and say, "Me too!"

Sometimes I sit with my eyes closed, fully awake, but resting my eyes or my mind by closing off visible reality. When I do, I still see things. Most of the time it's that funky 'negative' image of whatever I had been seeing with my eyes open. You know how that is, right? White is black, blue is yellow, red is green. All the colorful three dimensional detail gets turned into blocks of glowing but washed out color or black shadow. Once my retinal memory gets cleared out, I'm left with a mostly black screen that's sort of grainy, with the occasional blip or spark popping here and there.

But sometimes... I see other things, interesting things, bizarre and fascinating things. The best images seem to appear when I'm just waking up. Kinda fun to groggily sit and watch the show while I'm, um, doing what one does first thing in the morning after a long sleep ;) The images playing in the vast dark expanse under my closed eyelids are like geometric fantasies in motion.

There's one recurring image which I find quite delightful. It's like a lacy mandala which covers almost the whole 'screen'. Imagine a rainbow doily in a very delicate weave. The image is... wait, maybe I can sort of draw this one.

Yeah, something like that. But it's more intricate with very crisp detail. Sometimes it slowly spins. Sometimes it seems to 'breathe', with the inner pattern coming out of the center and spreading out toward the edges while the outer portion seems to recede and emerge once again from within the center.

Strange, eh? But mesmerizing to watch... with my eyes closed :)

Okay, so like, which plague are we on? I lost track. Oh wait... Wolf Blitzer is interviewing Pat Robertson on CNN. I'm sure he will enlighten us on the progress of God's Wrath. *eyeroll* I dunno 'bout you, but I just couldn't respect a deity who throws such temper tantrums. Puleeeeze...

Obviously Pakistan 10/8 is a 'where and when.' I wouldn't have thought that area would be on our watch. Based on the alignment, it looks like our focus is on the US, but ya never know. Whomever might be working that area should not feel they've failed. For all we know, the 7.6 mag followed by more than a dozen 5.0+ could have been a series of 9.0 or higher quakes.

I don't think this is the whole shakeup, even if all the external stress factors suddenly disappeared. Pakistan's experience may cause ripples to other tectonic plates. And of course, the other stress factors have not disappeared. We still have all those asteroids on a driveby.

One silver lining is that the Pakistan quakes were/are shallow. That's terrible for those people because surface quakes do more damage in the immediate area. But, it's better for the rest of the world because shallower quakes don't send shockwaves out with as much power as deep quakes. So, the ripples shouldn't be as strong. That may be an effect of the 'work' there too, greater good and all that.

It is additionally possible that the epicenter was 'moved.' Imagine if this had occurred in the Arabian Sea, then there might have been tsunami effects too, impacting even more countries and more people. Or imagine if the epicenter had been a bit east, in the heart of India (pop. 1 billion vs Pakistan pop. about a million and a half).

Watching to see what else may unfold.
10/10, 10:10am PT looms, Columbus Day, Columbia River, Juan de Fuca release, tsunamis, Mount St Helens release, Cascades rumble

You know, come to think of it... moving a thing like that, dampening it, and bringing it closer to the surface... well, that would take an awful lot of energy. Would be a great way to spend some of the excess from the Pacific Northwest though, eh?

Earth is having a block party. Didn't you get an invitation? Asteroids often whizz by us, usually one at a time and usually with a day or more to space them out. (Oo, a pun!) Most of them are pretty small and far enough away that there's no real threat of impact. These visitors are called NEOs (Near Earth Objects) and NASA's JPL tracks them.

Reckon I know a little more about what Xan and Ghost and I may be working at now, since I checked out the NEO Close Approach list. It showed 17 asteroids traveling in our immediate neighborhood from Oct 2 - Oct 11. Very high traffic. The biggest will come closest on the 9th, the next three in size will be closest on the 10th. Actually, to me it looks a lot like what I'd call a mongolian clusterf__k.

[For comparison: Highest number of close approach NEOs in a single month from 1981 through 2004 - 14 in November 2004. Yes, 14 for the whole month vs 17 within 10 days. (search criteria: H<=20, Nominal Distance <=0.2AU)]

Now none of the 17 are as big as Toutatis, nor will they pass as close. Individually, they wouldn't cause much disturbance at all, but like this, well... They're bound to have an effect on the Earth's EMF, crust, and possibly even ocean/air currents. Lots of extra pushing and pulling going on, erractically at that. Lots of little electromagnets playing around this big one where we live.

Gonna have to try to equalize the pools and spikes of energy, maybe open some gates and lay down pathways, ie make channels for it to overflow into so it doesn't build up in the already active dangerous places (Cascades, Pacific Northwest), or flow to other currently inactive, but potentially dangerous places (Yellowstone).

Yeah, I'd say it could get really interesting in the near future. Hard to guesstimate exactly what effects we'll get, and where, and when. We had a big hurricane season last year. Toutatis came closest on September 29 2004. The monster Indonesian quake happened on December 26 2004, and another on March 28 2005. So, the ripples could take a while. Remember, it's a rather big bowl of jello.

Duh, I just realized (remembered?) that all this increased geologic activity is probably related to asteroid Toutatis' passage at the end of September 2004.

As I noted here previously (Oct 1 2004), an asteroid doesn't actually have to hit us to have an impact, though science doesn't seem to realize that or isn't talking about it. My theory was that Toutatis would apply pressure on approach, disturb our EMF as we traveled together briefly on the same orbital plane, then as it pulled away we'd "see what happens when that applied pressure is relieved, ie, as the lid comes off the tapper kettle."

NASA JPL said at the time, "The September 29 approach is the closest in a century of any known asteroid at least as big as Toutatis." ... "Toutatis is, in fact, the biggest asteroid to come this close since astronomers have been watching them."

I believe the December 2004 quake in Indonesia and resulting tsunami were effects from Toutatis, as well as the echo in March 2005. I had not guesstimated how long the asteroid's effect would last. But, I see now that once you shake the jello bowl, it will wiggle for quite a while. In this case, the jello bowl is a big spinning spheroid filled with liquid iron, covered with a cracked crust, and enveloped in water and vapor currents.

Still not sure how long the wiggling will continue, but it's fairly obvious now that it will be measured in years.

I have to wonder... Would one more hurricane hitting southern Louisiana this season finally convince people that the Mississippi Delta is not a safe place to live? Or would they still move back and try to rebuild, so the next round can wash about a million people into the Gulf? What a waste of time, money, and a criminal waste of human life that would be.

Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They’re not listening still
Perhaps they never will...

Once again, I hope I'm wrong.

I've been a little cryptic, now I guess I'm launching into full disclosure. Interpret my comments as clairvoyance or insanity, whichever you wish.

syn·chro·nic·i·ty - the coincidental occurrence of events that seem related but are not explained by conventional mechanisms of causality

All those geologic factors I said I'm watching are amounting to a heap of synchronicities for me. They have formed a picture, gradually, like an old polaroid shot that starts out foggy with only traces of an image but eventually becomes clear.

For me, the picture describes something that will try to happen in October, yes, this month. The latest synchronistic hit occurred this evening, when the Discovery Channel re-aired two programs, back to back -- Megaquake and Supervolcano.

Megaquake describes the potential for a megathrust earthquake, like the one that hit Indonesia, occurring on the Cascadia subduction zone, where the Juan de Fuca plate is sliding under the Pacific Northwest of the US. A large earthquake there would not only cause unprecedented quake damage, but also tsunami which would follow the quake onto the coastlines of Washington, Oregon and northern California... and... ripple across the Pacific to hit Hawaii, Japan, etc.

Supervolcano is a dramatization and commentary on a potential eruption of Yellowstone. This ancient volcano is currently a pulsing lava dome under the northwest corner of Wyoming. If it erupted, the lava and ash would not only devastate much of this continent, but change global climate for a long time to come.

Interesting that these two shows, one after the other, perfectly describe the scenario I have seen for October. I doubt the Discovery channel intended to link the two, other than joining the nationwide disaster focus spurred by hurricanes Katrina and Rita. But, I see them as linked, and in fact, the one will indeed follow the other. I see the buildup of energy occurring along the coastline of the Pacific Northwest... being released... causing a megaquake and tsunami... AND... rippling westward through the continental shelf to stir and awaken the sleeping giant under Yellowstone.

Now some (most?) folks would say I'm a paranoid lunatic, watching too much TV and making too much of coincidences. That could be. In truth, I'd rather that were the case, but I cannot ignore what I am seeing.

Nor am I ready to really sound an alarm about all of this because I believe plans are in the works to mitigate the potential disaster. (And who would listen to an alarm I'd try to raise anyway? ;)

Those of you who know me, also know that Da Shroom will be taking a cruise this month to the Mexican Riviera. She will be in San Diego on October 7th, then sailing from there on October 8th down along Baja California and Mexico.

You may or may not know another friend of mine, whom I call Ghost, recently joined the Army Reserves and has been sent to Fort Dix NJ for training through the month of October.

If I draw a line between San Diego and Fort Dix NJ, that line passes right through my location here in the midwest. In fact, I am at the halfway point on that line.

Even if I believed in coincidence, which I don't, that alignment is too much for coincidence. I believe it is a purposeful alignment. I believe we will be lined up to help mitigate the potential disaster as described above.

The three of us have a rather special connection, which I won't detail right now because I'm writing a big enough volume already. But I will say that we have worked with Mother Earth before and it's looking like that exercise was merely practice for this.

I believe we will try to siphon off a significant amount of energy from the buildup at the Pacific Northwest and draw it southward through California, in a straight line to San Diego. There, Da Shroom will bend it and aim east toward Ghost at Fort Dix NJ. They've done this pitch-and-catch thing before. In the middle here, I will help keep the feed focused and properly directed. I may even do some conversion on the energy. It's something I'm geared to do. I'm also the 'lucky' one who gets to see these operations so we can be aware of them.

The main point of this operation is to reduce the disasterous effects in the Pacific Northwest, AND to keep that energy release from going east to wake up Yellowstone. I have no doubt there is some good use for the energy along the pathway and at the end of the trail on the east coast also, but I haven't seen that part of the picture clearly yet.

Honestly, if we do well, nothing will happen and I'll look like one of those chickynoodlehead alarmists I just berated. I'm okay with that because it means no one gets hurt or killed. But what I expect is that there will be some events, they'll just hopefully not add up to the worst case scenario.

Coconuts in Wyoming? (and misled EcoNazis in DC) - FoxNews.com, June 2004

I knew there was clear and concise data about this global warming crapola. I just had to hunt for it. Funny how the articles of truth get so deeply buried under more sensational news, like people whining from ignorance or trying to put the fear of God and combustion engines into folks' hearts.

I love Fox's characterization: "Though temperatures obviously rise due to natural causes during the summer, global-warming activists like to take advantage of this time to dramatize their cause."

Man, these alarmists (oh, activists, yeah) really like to skew the facts. No, 'skew' is not a strong enough word. They blow it all so far out of proportion that it's a wonder their hot air isn't affecting global climate. I'm not sure what the motivation is for EcoNazis. Might just be a combination of Chicken Little Syndrome and phenomenal arrogance? How ironic that such misguided chickens think humanity is powerful enough to make a dent in the natural processes of this planet.

Yes, we are experiencing global warming, but we are not causing it.

FACTS, chickynoodleheads, look at the FACTS:

About 95% of the greenhouse effect is due to water vapor, 99.999% of which is of natural origin. (Incidentally, we need the greenhouse effect, else we'd be popsicles. It's the supposed 'runaway' effect that is a problem. Too much of a good thing.)

The other 5% of the greenhouse effect is due to carbon dioxide, methane, nitrous oxide and other miscellaneous gases.

Carbon dioxide, is responsible for roughly 3.6% of the greenhouse effect. About 97% of atmospheric carbon dioxide is natural; only about 3% is from human activity.

That means that only about 0.11% of the greenhouse effect (that is, 3% of 3.6%) is due to human releases of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.

Put another way, about 99.89% of the greenhouse effect has nothing to do with carbon-dioxide emissions from human activity.

Factoring in the other greenhouse gases, the total human contribution to the greenhouse effect is about 0.3%. In other words, about 99.7% of the greenhouse effect is due entirely to nature.

So, like, I really suck at math, but even I can see that it's not what we do, it's just how the planet is.

Yes, we should look for ways to reduce our use of fossil fuels, because 1) we're entirely too dependent on some hot heads in the Middle East as well as greedy oil barons in our own country and 2) while our CO2 production isn't hurting the planet, it's making us sick physically and financially, so it would be nice to find cleaner and cheaper ways to motor around.

Yes, cyclical changes are underway which are wreaking havoc with our weather and making it more hazardous to live on coastlines and in view of gorgeous [volcanic] mountains and on other desireable but seismically active terrains. But, shouting 'The sky is falling!" isn't going to change that. We have chosen where to live. If we want to continue living, we need to re-evaluate our choices.

BTW, to understand the 'Coconuts in Wyoming' reference, you'll have to read the FoxNews.com article. It's not really critical to the discussion, but it was an interesting headline. :)