What Color Green Are You? quiz
***You Are Teal Green***
You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you. Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible. While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks. Your warm personality nicely counteracts any strange habits you may have.

It has begun. I'm selling some stuff on eBay (the china and crystal etc from MiL mostly), picked up an initial load of boxes from UHaul and started filling them, sorting my fat clothes outta the closet for charity, cleaning and staging for realtor pix and showings when we're listed in a week or two.

I'm very glad that I did a lot of weeding and sorting during the last move. Much less to contend with.

Financially, we were pretty much down to our last bean. Honestly, I pat myself on the back for managing to survive four whole months without the bulk of our income. Here at the last, with a little help from family, my webwork contributions, tax refunds, and cashing out a 401K, we should be in good shape until income flows regularly again. I was a little worried that I'd have to wait for funds to do anything about the move then get stuck in manic mode with deadlines. Thankfully, that shouldn't happen now.

Healthwise, I'm taking this slow and easy. I'm sure there will be a push now and then, but I'm not going to unless I really have to. My BP is chemically under control despite the shifting but still tough stress factors. My remaining ailment is just not going to get fixed until after the move when I'm on insurance again. I'll have to work around it and pamper myself as much as I can in between.

Reckon I'll survive this. I've done it before. And, when I get to the desert, reckon I'll find a way to bloom where I'm planted. (Although, I still want some damn answers from the Universe on WHY.)

I have to move my whole damn household, again.
And to a place I don't want to go, again.
GDMFSOB

Despite being shafted by the Universe, I am still quite easily entertained. I found a gem at the grocery store. It was an 8-pack of wee orange juice cartons. Yes, compared to buying the same amount of juice in a regular carton, these little ditties are stupidly expensive. But... I LOVE THEM. They make me happy. It's insane how giggly and thrilled I am to drink from a perfectly formed miniature juice container. We're talking a 5" tall, 2" square little box that looks just like a juice carton that might have been zapped on Honey, I Shrunk The Kids. I should probably see a shrink... of a different sort.

PS - Apparently there's a GDMF move to New Mexico in my future. We'll know for sure in the next couple of days.

Oh, damn. We're being flown into NM Thursday/Friday for interviews. Yeah. I've looked. It's typical desert southwest. It's almost on the Mexico border. It way too freakin west. It's not my kind of place. *sigh* Why am I being tortured?

You know, if Spouse was in the military or such, I'd expect to get moved around the country. But dayam, he's a GM in auto sales. I mean, c'mon. It's not his fault we're shuffled. The Universe is effing with me/us. Spouse is looking in the right places but getting hits from the wrong places, places he didn't even check off on the job sites. WTF is that about?

Here's some history. Remember there are dealerships on every corner in America and most of them have to have GMs...

1992
Spouse's job in central Ky (Home) disappeared because the dealer (owner) sold out to some old dudes who wanted to run the store themselves. After nine months of searching for another position, we got a hit from... BFE Nebraska. Had to take it.

Lived in BFE Nebraska for three years. Might has well have been Neptune. It's not the end of the Earth, but you can see it from there. Four hours just to get to an airport. Spent most of the three years trying to find a way out and back toward Home.

1996
Landed in southeast Missouri near the confluence of the Ohio and Mississippi Rivers. At least it looked more like Home and I could drive Home in about six hours. Pretty nice place, pretty decent job... until the dealer started effing with things and micromanaged Spouse and his other GMs to the point where we couldn't make enough money to live on. A bit too slow on the uptake, after nearly losing our house and eventually filing bankruptcy, Spouse started job hunting.

2004
Northwest Arkansas (which I initially referred to as Arkanfukinsaw because it's one of the few states with a worse reputation than Kentucky) was the only viable hit and too good to pass up job/money-wise. I wasn't thrilled but we found a beautiful place to live. Spouse is in golf heaven. The job was good, paid well... until the dealers/owners screwed up so badly with their other stores and company finances that they had to cut all their GMs loose for the cashflow.

2006
I want to go Home. I do NOT want to go further west. After four months of unemployment we're pretty much out of financial resources and the only serious job possibility on the table appears to be in the Tex-Mex corner of New Mexico.

Help.

While the job opportunity I WANT is moving at a snail's pace, if at all, another has appeared on the scene... in Las Cruces, New Mexico.

To that I say NO. Cut it out. I want to go back HOME dammit. Quit effing around and get me there. PLEASE.

RE 2/22... There was a 7.0 quake in Mozambique, but I dunno why I'd need to be grounded for that and it certainly wouldn't have been related to Spouse's trip. So... *shrug*... whatever. Maybe it was just the weather thing. Maybe it was a string of coincidences (although, as I've oft mentioned, I don't believe in them.)

On the topic of quakes though, I've noticed there's a bit of an upswing in the frequency of big quakes ever since that Mozambique one. Ripple effect perhaps. Nothing catastrophic so far and mostly in remote areas or offshore.

As for the travel, it went on. I enjoyed my week Home, as always. Got to spend a day with Mom and Grandma. It was mostly shopping, which I hate, but it was okay because of the company. Also had an errand which I only half accomplished. Did I mention that my MiL gave me her wedding china and crystal, as well as permission to sell it? Easier said than done. She gave it to me at Christmas and I'd left it at Mom and Dad's house. This trip was partly for packing that up properly and seeing where I might sell it there. The answer is nowhere, apparently. All the local sellers of such things recommended trying Replacements.com and I'd already checked with them. They buy for pennies and sell for big dollars. Not the deal I was looking for. I guess I'll try eBay. I'm not looking forward to it. But, at least I got it packed up and now it's stacked here and waiting.

In regards to me and my busted arse... It's still busted. I don't know if it's getting better (by very small increments) or if I'm getting used to it, gradually. It's still quite unpleasant and quite the hassle trying to be functional. Pain-in-the-ass just doesn't cover it. My latest theory is that maybe it's tied into perifuckingmenopause. There's a possibility that reduced hormone levels, which I already had due to some other stuff, have become low enough to interfere with the process. If so, I'm fighting a battle with my body chemistry which I cannot win. Can't investigate that either until we get employed and on insurance so we can afford the lab work.

And, speaking of employment... none as yet. Still hoping for the move back near Home, but prospective employers are never in as big a hurry to git-r-done as the prospective employee. So, we'll see.

That's the news from Lake Woebegon.

Long story. You don't have to read it, but I had to write it, because I still can't figure out that the hell is/was going on.

Countdown? Since sometime in earliest January, I noticed how I happened to catch the time at strange little markers. You know how odd it is to actually see an even hour (ex, 12:00 on the nose) or 12:34 or such, unless you're looking for it. Well, it started for me with 5:55, am and/or pm. Then 4:44, then 3:33. Sure, we all glance at the time a lot, but these times were seemingly jumping out to catching my attention. I began to get curious. It really started to look like a countdown. The progression would of course continue to 2:22 then 1:11, although I wasn't catching them, just the 5s, 4s and 3s.

I thought about this a bit, as I do, patterns and all. There can't be a 6:66 or higher, since 59 is the max on minutes, although 10:10, 11:11 and 12:12 are interesting. Then somehow I made the leap to dates. Some of these could be dates. 5/55, 4/44 and 3/33 were out, but 1/11 and 2/22 were possible.

I kind of watched when Jan 11th passed. Didn't note anything. Then the next of course is tomorrow Feb 22. Is there anything to it? Have I been seeing a countdown to something about to happen on 2/22?

In the meantime, I have a very close more-than-friend who is about to be deployed you know where and you know why, although just in general as such things are not supposed to be discussed in detail, but the word 'deployed' is all the hint you need to get the gist of what I'm saying. ANYway, sometime in the last few weeks I told my friend about the countdown. Then, he found out he was leaving here on 2/22. That seemed like a marker. This person will likely be gone for a year or more, so that makes the date significant. As I may be moving too and thus not even here upon his return, this could be the end of an era for me/us. We shall see.

In the hoodoo boogity realm concerning this tidbit, my friend's signifying number is 5. As it happens, Numerologically speaking, 2/22/2006 = 5. I'd say that means my friend is right on track. Sounds like synchronicity to me and comforting in its way.

There's more. I'm not supposed to be here this week. I'm supposed to be Home and hanging out with family. It didn't happen and something sure seemed to be conspiring to make sure it didn't happen. It went like this....

Spouse was supposed to go to Israel (yeah, over there) this week, which is why I picked this week to go Home. He was supposed to fly out on Friday evening. I dropped him at the airport then went to pick out some audiobooks for my road trip, before getting out of town. Before I finished that errand, Spouse called me on my cell phone. His flight out had been cancelled. The airline was working on reroutings, but I should wait to see how that worked out. Made sense.

Spouse was rebooked on a very early Saturday morning flight. SO, I fetched him from the airport. We went home. I would take him back in the AM then hit the road. But, the winter storm that had been predicted for Sunday or Monday had crept back until it occurred Friday night. We apparently had some sleet and definitely some snow. Now 3-4" of snow isn't much, but it's devastating here because the terrain is very hilly and the road crews are just not used to that kind of weather here. In fact, at 4am when we pulled out of the driveway, my car wasn't prepared for it either. My Cruiser spent hours at the bottom of the hill just below the house after we'd made several attempts to get Spouse to the airport but only slid on snow-covered ice.

The rest of the day was a more convoluted nightmare. Spouse was obviously not going to make his 6:30am flight. He called and the airline rescheduled for about 11:30am. We still couldn't get anywhere in my car. Spouse tried to call in favors from about half a dozen buddies he used to work with who -should- have been able to come through. Some were unreachable. Some said they'd get back to him but didn't. Some promised to help, but didn't or couldn't. It was a tragedy of errors.

As the time passed and Spouse was going to miss the 11:30am flight, he rebooked again, for 3pm. We managed to get my car back up the hill and into the garage but there was no way we'd ever make it off our street and to the airport. I had certainly cancelled my excursion by this point.

There was another round of phone calls trying to get someone, anyone, with a 4WD vehicle to come get Spouse and haul him to the airport. Now realize that all his buddies work at car dealership(s) and getting a 4WD was not the problem. The warm-body driving it just never materialized, through various circumstances, not excluding friendships now on the outs. Taxi/limo services were not running because they don't -do- 4WD because that kind of weather here just doesn't happen here very often.

Okay, so, it becomes obvious that Spouse isn't going to make his 3pm flight either. At this point, he and the party he was to meet in Israel finally succumb to the conspiracy. Something did NOT want Spouse in the air this weekend and/or in Israel this week and/or didn't want me on the road. Neither trip was going to happen this week. Ultimately, we've all rescheduled for next week, same time, same bat channel. There's no winter weather in the forecast. We'll see.

Naturally, being who I am, I wondered... WTF was all THAT about? Why were we grounded so emphatically? What were we being saved from or pointed to? I mean, the whole scenario was SO tangled as we were living it that it seemed like something had put up a big wall and said NO, Not at this time.

Honestly, I half expected something ugly to happen in Tel Aviv on the Sunday when Spouse might have arrived there, or something going awry with one of the flights he was supposed to take. Thankfully, nothing has surfaced so far as I know.

But then, I recalled 2/22 and the seeming countdown. Is it related? Was there a reason to keep Spouse out of Israel this week, on that day? Or did he have to get grounded just to keep me off the road during a winter storm? (Knowing I'd stick around if he had to) Or was it all just one of those things?

Might have missed something terrible. Might have been held here to catch something we needed to catch (like job thing). Might have nothing to do with anything. Might never know.

But Spouse and I sure feel like we're in a time warp. We had places to go, people to see. We didn't expect this interim week, and Friday evening we'll surely have a serious jolt of deja vu as we attempt this week again.

Strange. Just strange, I tell ya. I'm curious to see if anything notable occurs on 2/22 and if I stop catching 5:55..4:44...3:33... after that.

I am SO trying not to get too excited about this job possibility so I wouldn't crash too hard if it didn't happen. But dang, I AM excited! I want this. I deserve this. I have earned this, dammit. It's the perfect opportunity for Spouse AND for me. It simply must happen. We could get really settled in and freakin retire there. I don't ask for much, but I surely am asking -- directly and emphatically -- for this. Thank you.

A really good opportunity knocked today. Right now it's just a vague possibility, but it sure sounds like just the thing. Spouse got a call from a headhunter who has a line on a possible job in Kentucky... yes, back Home. Not in my hometown, but within an easy two-hour drive of Home and that is close enough, closer than I have been in over ten years. What we know of the position right now makes it sound just perfect.

SO, all positive energy, good vibes, warm fuzzies, nergies, and prayers to bring this thing about are welcome. Yes, it would mean a move, but I wouldn't mind so much because it would be in the right direction, ie, back Home again.

Still alive.

Good News: The west Texas job has been tabled. After all the hooplah, they have said "Not at this time." They've left open future possibilities, but it won't be there and it won't be now.

Bad News: That was the only seemingly viable prospect for employment in the near future.

So, I'm happy and... well, not sad... just concerned about our shrinking financial resources without prospects for remedy (and lack of insurance, and general uncertainty of where we'll live, and... bleh).

Was the Universe listening after all? If so, the Powers That Be got the message that I didn't want to live in west Texas. Are they working on a way for me to stay here? Could they maybe hurry it up a little before we run out of money?

I once again state the perfect scenario whereby Spouse gets his old job back after that store is bought out by another group and then Spouse proceeds to eat the old employer's lunch through fierce competition. *nodnod* We'd like that. We'd get to stay right here. It would be quite poetic.

Ya know, this ailment is deeply disturbing on many levels. I cannot isolate the affected area. It's not like I can put my digestive system on hold to let it heal. There's also a lag in cause/effect due to processing time, so when I try stuff, I can't tell for sure what works and what doesn't. All I know for sure is I'm tired of thinking about it and dealing with it. There's entirely too much trauma involved in what should be a natural process. It's wearing on me psychologically as well as physically. I mean, I can't help thinking, What kind of moron can't manage their own shit?

Spouse and I celebrated our 15th anniversary on the 19th. It's amazing to me that I've been married for 15 years. Spouse and I both agree that we're better than ever together. Over the years our relationship has changed and for the good, especially lately, despite the trials and tribulations mundane life tosses in. This experiment is working well. I think I'll go for another 15 and then some ;)

During this period in which my ass is basically out of order and I am unable to sit like a normal person for long periods of time or be productive otherwise... I've stretched out and watched entirely too much television. While doing so, I've often found it a challenge to locate a tolerable bit of entertainment in which people are not being hurt or hurting each other. I'm just not into death and destruction. I don't like gore at all, and I'm not too keen on angst of any sort. I don't even like it when people make fools of each other, especially when it's vicious.

I like comedy. I like suspense. I like wit and clever plot puzzles, and yeah, I like sap. Make me cry, but for good reasons. I love catching people doing good things to and for each other; it does my heart good. I can handle some difficulties as long as they get all sorted out for a happy ending. Apparently, I am in the minority?

What IS it with people being so addicted to DRAMA... not drama or even Drama... but DRAMA or maybe even DRAMA ???

Why is our society so seemingly hungry for ugliness that we let the media smother us in it, all day, every day? Why does the news have to be bad? Why do movies have to be about killing or being killed, figuratively or literally? Why do video games have to be about death and destruction? Why does love have to hurt? Why does gain have to come from deviousness? etc and so on, ad nauseum.

Why are people so addicted to the adrenaline rush of turmoil? It IS possible to get adrenaline from positive experiences, but people have forgotten how?

I get a rush from a warm breeze, birds in flight, wind rippling over water, sunlight, moonlight, cool comfortable complete darkness, swelling musical scores, children's laughter, a baby's smile... All that other dark stuff makes me flinch, gives me a knot in my stomach or throat, or downright hurts, even if it's virtual, as in movies or books. I don't like it. I don't want it. I for damned sure am not going looking for it. In fact, I spend a lot of time side-stepping it.

It is a choice.
We all have the choice.
It's a matter of choosing where to focus.

"Accentuate the positive... Eliminate the negative... Latch on to the affirmative... Don't mess with Mister In-Between...
"You've got to spread joy up to the maximum... Bring gloom down to the minimum... Have faith, or pandemonium is liable to walk upon the scene..."

There's lots of pandemonium in our world today, and you wanna guess why? Because no matter how much they bitch and whine about it, people like it. They crave it. They are addicted to it. I... am not. I choose to avoid it when possible and downplay it when I can't completely side-step it, and I combat it with positive thinking and silver-lining hunting, even if I have to make it up.

It bothers me a little that I can't help everyone be as I am, but rather than sink into the mire with them, I just have to let the rest of the world drown in their own sorrows if they really want to. It's not my fault they won't even look around for a ray of sunshine. Eh, maybe they'll see me standing in a nice warm beam, smiling, and eventually try to join me?

Nothing to say but whining about absence of income against expenses far exceeding the usual. Timing is everything and royally sucks on all sides of the equation right now. I'll spare you the details. They're whirring in my head like a frog in a blender. No need to share that. It's not pretty. Pissing and moaning is not one of my characteristic activities. Besides, it doesn't really fix anything, does it? I'd ask for cheese to go with my whine, but it's probably not a good thing for me, considering.

A shiny new year. I'll take it, although I'm not entirely sure I will like where it goes? Or more to the point, where *I* go, if in fact I am called to go, which I'm hoping is only a temporary mirage and that I will not be asked to move at all. But...

Spouse's job hunt continues. It was veritably stalled during the holidays. Now it looks like he will be going to Oregon next week for a job interview which could land us in west Texas? For the record: I DO NOT WANT TO MOVE. I DEFINITELY DO NOT WANT TO MOVE FURTHER WEST.

Aren't the Powers That Be listening to me at all? I feel I've done good work for the greater good. I feel I've listened, paid attention, worked with the Powers. I am annoyed that there seems to be very little interest in working with me on what I want. As a rule, I don't ask for much, and dammit, I am tired of moving. I feel I've barely gotten settled from the last move and I had to look really hard to get my head and heart around the whys and wherefores of being here, but I became okay with it. I understood. I complied. I worked with it.

Surely there's a little compensation due me, even if it's just to leave me where I am? I mean, I'm in a really good central location. Can't I do whatever I need to do from here?

*sigh* pleasedontmovemepleasedontmovemepleasedontmovemeAGAIN.

Short report because my rearend is worn out and still not recovered from so much time in the car and sitting with various relatives. Don't get me wrong, I LOVED BEING HOME! I needed it. I got lots of hugs and lots of time to soak in my family whom I dearly love. I was just always on guard with the ol bod. It seems to be taking forever for me to get straightened out. Of course, patience is not my long suit, so 'yesterday' wouldn't have been soon enough.

Gift cards and cash were popular gifts this year and I'm glad of it. I had explained to everyone that my entire wardrobe is too baggy and in need of replacement but I haven't a clue what sizes I need right now. They all came through, which means I'll have to go shopping soon. I loved all the comments I got about my smaller self. I did it for me, but it's nice to hear from others.

I hope all of you enjoyed your Christmas or whatever version of the holiday you celebrate. I also wish for you and yours a very enjoyable 2006.

Trying to get all my Christmas ducks in a row before we hit the road for holiday break. Despite a perturbing bank glitch, my online shopping has been successful. Good thing. I have been in no condition to traipse through brick and mortar stores, or heaven forbid, a mall. ew

Looking forward to being Home, especially since I missed Thanksgiving. Can't say I'm looking forward to the trip itself. Ten to twelve hours in a car could be all too interesting for me still. We shall see how that goes. I have a few more days of healing twixt now and then.

FYI, planning to be on the road on Tuesday the 20th, then soaking in family for a week. Refillin' the well, dontcha know, and I really need it. Coming back in this direction on Monday the 26th.

Shortly thereafter, the energy focus goes more earnestly into getting spouse employed without us having to move. Hear that, Universe? Yes, I'm asking, directly and emphatically. Thank you.

I'm sure there will come a day when I can say, "Hmmm, I remember having some pretty ugly trouble that time..." I look forward to it. I'm ready for the shifting symptoms to go away and normalcy to kick in, although it might take a while for me to even recognize it. I'm absolutely better. I'm still reaching for completely healed, as in able to sit, stand, walk, rest, or even just Be... without thinking about this thing. It's a very persistent annoyance really. Granted, it started out as significantly more pain and misery, but... I am tired of it, okay?

Ah well, two steps forward, one step back... is still progress.