The current game plan, for any who may be too curious for their own good. :)

Phase I: Six weeks of chemoradiation therapy, ie daily radiation treatments Monday thru Friday plus continuous infusion of chemo (5-FU) with pack recharge on Wednesdays. Purpose: Containment and shrinkage.

Phase II: Four to six weeks rest period.
Purpose: Allowing good tissue to recover from chemoradiation, ie heal somewhat prior to surgery.

(During this time I'll be going home for a long weekend to celebrate Mom & Dad's 50th Anniversary by participating in their renewal wedding ceremony and reception (on Nov 18th). Tentatively planning to then return here and have the contents of this house packed and moved to NM the week after Thanksgiving.)

Phase III: Surgery, likely to occur the first week of December. Temporary ileostomy performed during surgery. Concurrent follow-up chemo.
Purpose: Removal of threat, resection, temporary stoma to allow thorough healing, and chemo to backup surgical remedy.

(Mom & Dad will come here for the surgery. Planning to go back home to Ky with them and have them keep me over Christmas and as long as possible until I have to be back for follow-ups, etc.)

Phase IV: Reversal of ileostomy likely to occur near the end of January.
Purpose: Hopefully, resumption of normal life. Hopefully able to finally join my spouse in NM.

And again for the more morbidly curious or cancer conscious, my most current diagnosis is T3 N0 M0 with a possible T3 N1 M0. Not 100% sure about the Node involvement, so they're covering my bases and treating me as if it's N1, just in case.

Here's a good page to explain the Staging (T3 N1 M0)
http://www.nccn.org/patients/patient_gls/_english/_colon/3_stages.asp

Dang, I have homework this weekend. Got whole notebooks from NARTI (radiation therapy place) and the oncologist (incl chemo treatments). A lot of the info is just image builder stuff, ala welcome and staff and whatever. But there's also some practices and procedural info I should probably read.

My last task this week was having the chemo port installed, ie, the implanted jack for my fanny pack device that will deliver the chemicals through continuous infusion. Too bad I can't use it as a computer interface too *weg* Ah, well. Someday. hehe

The port is in about the same place as an STNG personal communication device. "Beam me to the 24th Century! Where cancer is a footnote in history or cured with a hypospray!"

As one might expect, the focus of my life has shifted. Though in true Gemini style, I have two: treating my ailment and moving/swapping houses.

My new mantra is: I have cancer, it doesn't have me. (And definitely will not -get- me.)

I am just concluding one of the hardest two weeks in my life, but it wasn't all that terrible. There were moments, but the rest was mostly gleaning new information and juggling logistics. I'm good at both. I've also had a great helper right by my side, as mentioned. And, I have great auxilliary support from friends and family. The medical professionals I've seen so far have also been really good for me and with me.

I imagine that this sort of adjustment must be like any other big adjustment. I mean, when you have a child, everything changes. When you make a big career move or add a spouse or whatever, everything changes.

This is a change, a big change, but I'm usually pretty flexible and I certainly have strong incentive, so I'll adjust, am adjusting.

Good news is, it doesn't last forever. There are peaks and valleys in the activities and ultimately it should become a backdrop to my life. I think I can handle that. And of course, I am not handling it completely alone ;)

Thus, onward.

More after meetings with other docs, but news from Radiology sounds pretty good. Clinical Stage is T3 N0 M0. T3 basically means it's a pretty big area and into layers but not outside into other tissues. Good thing. N0 means it doesn't appear to have gotten into lymph nodes. M0 means it's not metastisized, ie, not spread to other organs.

Treatment is going to be radiation plus chemo. Radiation will be M-F for six weeks. Not sure about chemo specifics as yet but will be concurrent. Point of all that is to shrink and mostly eliminate tumor and cancer cells. Today's doc said radiation and chemo should get about 90-95% of it.

Then, three to six weeks after last radiation, giving time for healing, I'll go in for surgery. Almost redundant at that point but should pretty much guarantee we got it all.

Rad doc said my prognosis is really good. He said I should be able to look back in five years and say, "Yeah, I had cancer once."

Looks like I'll begin radiation on Monday. I told them I want to get this show on the road.

Incidentally, my new local buddy and I got along famously, like old friends. She's only a few years younger than I am. We enjoy each others' company. She decided to go with me for tomorrow's appointments too! Terrific deal. Wonderful good samaritan!

Nicely rainy day today. Maybe that sounds strange, but I enjoy a good long steady rain now and then. The sound of infinite raindrops on all the leaves in the forest surrounding me is just marvelously soothing. I can almost feel the refreshment of such a drink Nature is getting. There's the occassional punctuation of rolling thunder in the distance and a heavier burst to the shower, but that too feels good. I like the raw power of a good thunderstorm. It energizes the air and somehow energizes me too. Bring it on! And in the meantime, soak me in the soft sound of a cool steady rain. *happy little sigh*

Angels. I have those three meetings coming up next week. My GI's LPN is who delivered the news of my condition. She had already arranged for the three meetings. While on the phone, she asked if my husband might accompany me to the meetings. I explained that he's in NM at his new job. My folks are of course in KY, though they came in to be with me for the colonoscopy. I explained that I don't know another soul in NW AR.

So, the LPN asked me to allow her to escort me at least to the first meeting. She's off on Tuesday and said she would be honored to pick me up and go with me, serving as a second set of ears, etc.

I am thrilled and amazed. I could make the meetings myself, but to have another person, a relative stranger, offer themselves for this duty... it thrills my soul. She is an angel, sent to help me in my hour of need?

Not only was she infinitely compassionate with me over the phone, but she's going to spend her day off holding my hand for a surely tedious and likely stressful appointment?

This angel's name is Laschell. I hope she gains many brownie/karmic points for this. She most certainly deserves them.

I am grateful.

Well, they say "Into each life a little rain must fall." Appears my umbrella isn't working. Guess I'll be making good use of my silver lining detectors.

"When the blast of war blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger:
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood..."
~ Henry V by William Shakespeare

...unto the breach...
Appointments next week with a radiologist, a surgeon, and an oncologist.

Had the colonoscopy. It really was a breeze since I was totally out of it, don't recall anything other than wanting to keep on sleeping in recovery. Felt all warm and quite pleasantly fuzzy, so I was a little perturbed that the nurse kept waking me up by asking if I was awake. hehe

The doc added some more stuff to my day: blood work, cat scan and chest xray. He'd taken some biopsies during the colonoscopy. Yes, that means he found something. I would have been rather disappointed if he hadn't. Good to know there IS some explanation for what I've been struggling with these last nine months. Yes, there is always the possibility of cancer but there is also a greater possibility that it's all very benign and just needs to be handled. Even if it's cancer, it's the sort that can be treated and in fact vanquished.

Once all the labwork and pathologies come back and the doc has a chance to review them (probably next week), then we'll know more about what's what and how to proceed.

I've already been told that I do not have diabetes, no infections are indicated, my potassium level is good, I'm a little anemic but not enough to cause any concern, and my chest xray was good.

In the meantime, I'm okay with whatever else may or may not be. I am not going to borrow trouble or burn bridges til I get to them ;) Until I have a definitive diagnosis and game plan options, I'm assuming the best.

All y'all who love me simply must take the same attitude. It's an order ;)

Insulation, drywall, garage door, exterior sheeting... More progress!


Master Bedroom door and windows out to backyard overlooking the pecan grove.


Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch... I think that's from an Abbott & Costello sketch, maybe Three Stooges?

Monday: clear liquids and abusive chemicals
Tuesday: colonoscopy

Not a fun week, but looking forward to having a fully functional body again.

This week has been very hectic for me. Seems that my ailment takes up so much of my thoughts, time and energy that if anything gets added, I'm swamped? I've had house things to do, doctor appointments, and now I gotta get packed so I can hop on (IN! :) a plane in a few hours. Going to hang with the fambly over a long Labor Day weekend. It's time for Grandma's reunion. eep, Gotta leave the house in showable condition too.

So very sorry for online absence. The sleep is great, but I do wish the timing was better. Apologies especially to my favorite lunatic ;)

Hey, Shroom, you watchit, woman. The world can't stand for both of us to be discombobulated! ;)

I'm flying back Tuesday evening. See ya on the flip side.

Progress! We have a roof and exterior walls and windows and the rooms are studded out. From slab to shell in two and a half weeks. Pretty cool.

Another EAS incident to report. Got a normal test today at 1pm, verifying how it usually goes. Midweek, midday, the channel changes to 2, EAS appears on the box. When the test is over, previous channel returns.

But, on Monday evening the flipping thing occurred again. It's only the second time I've seen it. This time the box was flashing... EAS... 9:16... EAS... 9:16... EAS... 9:16...

A system glitch the cable company has recently developed? Or a date to go with the 3:33 attention-getter I saw before?

*shrug*

Status: Waiting for build. Waiting for sale. Waiting for gastroenterologist appointment. Cymbalta is working to reduce the pain to nearly nothing and knocking the edge off the aggravation. I guess I'm basically idling as time passes.

It could easily be a year before I get sorted out. This is all a lesson in patience? Got the call from the gastroenterologist today. Earliest available appointment just for consultation is August 29th. I guess if anyone suspected I was in danger, they'd be in a bigger hurry, right? So, I carry on as is for now.

Health Brief: Started the process. Saw the GP who is referring me to a gastroenterologist. Then I guess we start all the diagnostics (aka torture?). If it gets me fixed up, I guess it will be worth it.

ow Ow OW! This pains me. It slays me. It's butchery and I know it's a common mistake but I can't help being injured by it. I learned proper English and I can't stand it when someone hacks it!

I caught a major error on the Discovery Channel. Granted, the crime was not committed by one of the presenters, but still, can they not edit??

"Renee and I's job is..."
MY GAWD!! Renee and I's???
Oh, I cannot tell you how torturous this is to me. It cuts me to the quick. It is SO bad, I feel physically injured.

"Renee's and my job is..." dear ones. That would be the correct assemblage!

It's SO easy. SO freaking easy to test the use of such things. Just take out the 'and' along with the other name!!!

Subtract "Renee and" until you are left with "I's job..."
Is this not obviously a fuck up?
Isn't "My job..." the more common sense, better sounding option?
I mean, if you must combine "My job is..." with "Renee's job is..."
Doesn't it make more sense and just sound better to say "Renee's and my job is..."??!?!?!
Ugh! Shoot me now. I cannot tolerate such vulgar abuse of the English language as "Renee and I's job is..." I simply canNOT.

"Johnny and me went to the store..."
NO. "Johnny and I went to the store..."!!
Remove "Johnny and" then it will be painfully obvious whether one should use "I" or "me", don't you see?
"Me went to the store" is obviously wrong, yes? (Please say Yes!)
"I went to the store" is correct, thus "Johnny and I went to the store" is correct.
How easy can it be?? How woefully ignored is this simple test?

"Her and I..."
*vomit* NO NO NO
"SHE and I..."
"SHE and I..."
"SHE and I..."
She did. I did. She and I did.
It is desperately easy to determine what should be used!

Oh, save me from vile acts upon the structure of English. I will grant that it is a difficult language, but are we not schooled in it for years? Did the majority sleep through those endless lessons in grammar and sentence construction?

Help! Please, someone, reassure me that there are a few English-speaking people who were awake at some point during their education!

*ahem*
<rant mode off>

Dammit. Okay, remember the 1:11, 2:22, etc? I'm still getting them. Still can't figure out what the hell they're supposed to mean, if anything. I finally started to find them mildly humorous and I generally just shake my head when they show up. However....

Firstly, what used to be called the Emergency Broadcast System is now apparently called the Emergency Alert System or EAS. Cox is my cable and internet company. When they test the EAS, they take command of the decoder box, flip to channel 2 where presumably there would be announcements in a real emergency, and the box display sits on EAS until the test is complete. They usually test around noon on Wednesdays. During the test period, you cannot change the channel, it stays on 2.

Tonight, I'd been watching one of my all-time favorite movies, 2001: A Space Odyssey. TCM then started 2010. Bonus! I had just been thinking at the end of 2001 that it would be nice to see the sequel again as well. I settled in to watch.

Suddenly, the movie was disrupted. I thought for a minute it was a commercial break but it was a terrible place to stop the scene, right in the middle of a character's sentence. But, it wasn't a commercial. The channel flipped to channel 2 (which happened to be Becker). Then the TV screen started flipping back and forth between the TCM channel and channel 2, several times.

I looked at the cable decoder box display.

It was flashing too. Oscillating back and forth between...

EAS and 3:33

What the fuck does that mean? Sure as hell looks like a big arrow. Certainly caught my attention in a dramatic way.

After the thing stopped flashing, and operation of the cable box returned to normal, I checked around...
There is no severe weather in the area. In fact, the doppler radar is completely clear.
I don't see any other emergency conditions in the area, in the US, or in the world that would prompt such a thing.
There were no announcements on channel 2. Becker played on.

It would be extremely strange for Cox to test the EAS at such an odd time and on a Sunday night / Monday morning.

So.... What is it? Once again, I scowl at the universe and demand information, clarification, a freakin clue... If they wanted my attention, they have it. I am listening! What??

That's all I could think while watching my TV screen flip channels and the cable box flash... EAS... 3:33... EAS... 3:33... EAS... 3:33... EAS... 3:33...

Can't be a date. There is no 33rd day in March. It was 3:33am on a Monday morning.

What IS it? What does it mean? And what am I supposed to do about it?

Home Sweet Home, so far...

Face-on view. Garage, utility room, kitchen and dining room on the left. Office, guest room, bathroom, sitting room and master bedroom suite on the right. Front door through to living room in the middle. Looking through the house toward our backyard view which is the pecan grove behind us and a whole lotta sky.

I must say, for the record, I love my parents SO much, I can barely contain it. Nevermind what prompted this expression, I just had to express it. They are marvelous beyond words.

I have an insurance card in my hot little hand!! HALLE-FREAKIN-LUJAH!! Good as of Aug 1. My preferred local provider IS on PPO list! I'm gonna call to see if they can get me in even sooner than Aug 17. But in any case, help IS on the near horizon! And I am GRATEFUL.